2006 November 28

November 2006
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Lucky 13

November 28th, 2006

Lois turned 13 years old today. I am now the mother of two teenage girls. I’m not quite sure how this has happened.

“Baby Wois” was born eight weeks prematurely with one collapsed lung, and the other not working. Keith enjoys reminding her that one of her many drips was milky white lipids, a.k.a., pure fats.

Rachel created Lois’ “It’s My Birthday – Hug Me!” custom shirt. Poor Keith has had a tummy bug and wasn’t feeling up to making our traditional birthday pancakes, so instead he made a quick run to Shipley’s for doughnuts and kolaches, with Lois’ portion eaten from the red “You Are Special” plate. Unfortunately, no one else in our family will be special for awhile, because it met the tile floor after dinner (oops!) Hannah is really ticked because her 11th birthday is Friday. Oh-so-sympathetic Rachel has offered to write “You Are Special” in red marker on a Chinet plate for her – such a deeply touching gesture.

When we were first married, Keith was stunned at the (seemingly large) amount of paper goods, toiletries, etc. that I routinely purchased. As he stated so puzzledly, “I thought a 12-pack of toilet paper was a lifetime supply.” As the mother of two (and counting) teenaged girls, I’ve made certain observations about life with them, such as:

There is no such thing as too many brands or bottles of shampoo.

Shoes. Everywhere.

If my make-up is missing, that means their supply is low.

Need a snack? Check inside the cushions of the recliners.

The phone is never for me.

“Teen pattern deafness” causes blank looks when phrases like, “Unload the dishwasher” are repeatedly intoned.

Panty hose. So much easier to unwrap a new pair to wash the used ones.

The cordless phone might be – where?

Eye rolls can be peformed to a degree that would appear physiologically impossible.

There may be wet towels on the floor, crud caked on the mirror and the sink may look like one at the Greyhound station….but our hair, ohhhhhhh, it’s soooooo straight.

And finally – Sanitary products always drift to the bottom of the shopping cart, completely covered by layers of food items. (In a few years, I’ll be buying them on a flatbed at Costco.)