This Reminds Me

Rachel turned 16 last week – impossible, I know, since she is really just a precious widdle baby girl.

Or at least she was in 1991, as cousin Sarah snatched her up.

Sarah and Judy hosted her Sweet 16 luau-themed party on Saturday at the Junior League of Houston.  No ketchup in packets.  No half-off coupons.  No “Would you like fries with that?”   We are talking cloth napkins, People!  China.  Flowers.  Volunteer servers in hose.  And a guest list of Rachel’s old Houston posse with – to make the rest of us smile – their mamas and sisters.

Goin’ back to Houston….Houston….Houston.   It’s all us Hoffman-esque girls.  (back) Mom, Rachel, Aunt Judy, Cousin Sarah and Lois.  (front) Hannah and Julia.

It’s been a long time since we celebrated a Sweet 16 in this family….in fact, since 1988, when Sarah turned 16.  So to add a little maternal joy to the ocassion, I have documented 16 Rachel Factoids. Sort of like the Top 10, only 60% bigger, and there’s not a car commercial right before it.

16.  She has more hair and spends more time on it than anyone I’ve ever known.  It looks really good.  But still.

15.  She can spot a bottle of Herbal Essence three rows over, but the “complete” light on the dishwasher remains very, very dim.

14.  When Keith and I left her at kindergarten the first day, I cried all the way back to the car.  She never shed a tear, in fact, she kept telling us goodbye long before I was ready to leave.

13. The afternoon she wandered off from the St. George’s day care bus line to get a snowcone at school makes my heart race even now.  That whole “We’ve misplaced your child”  call – ummmm –  not so good.

12.  Every time I see or hear her middle name – Wyoming – I smile, because that was my mother’s name.  Unless, of course, it’s in the context of hollering, “Rachel Wyoming Woodworth, get in this room right now.”  Then I am generally not smiling.

11.  She’s the only one of my kids with an independent relationship with one of our Indiana kin – her second cousin Jennifer.  That does make me smile.

10.  She is my on-site Firefox/WORD/IE/Google SME.  If it involves a keyboard, a casual, “So how can I….” gets me a big sigh and eye roll accompanying an answer.  If I act pathetic enough – seldom a challenge – she’ll do it for me.

9.  She is as much responsible for Julia’s success her first year home as are Keith and me.  We got Julia here, but Rachel was anxiously waiting with bushels of affection and attention.  Plus a hair brush.

I had 11-years-older Judy.  Julia has nine-years-older Rachel.  It rocks to have a sister read to you, fix you snacks, take you on dates….oh, did I forget to mention that part, Rach, now that you’re old enough now to go out and all?

8. She can make anybody laugh – myself included.  Her texts are often my major day-brighteners.  IDK My BFF Jill indeed.

7.  She’s too tall (6’1″) for the Superman ride at Fiesta Texas now.  So at least I don’t have to listen to her crow about loving it as I cower nearby.

Rachel and my goddaughter Brittany chuckle at my fear of besting the Superman roller coaster at Fiesta Texas.  Curse them.

6.  She (3rd grade) and Lois (kinder) were both “Star Students” (one per grade per month)  at Mark Twain Elementary in Houston shortly before we moved – first time siblings had been selected together.

5.  She’s told me about a million times, “Cheez-Its, Mom, Cheez-Its.  Not Cheese Nips.”  (I still slip the wrong box in the grocery cart.  Sigh.)

4.  She was the first person after Keith and me to hold newborn Hannah.  Sometimes Rachel holds Hannah now, too, but there are generally flailing limbs involved.

3.  Her first love was Barney.  The look on her face when that purple dinosaur danced out on stage at the Natural History Museum in 1993 is forever lodged in my memory as the most marvelous look of childlike wonder – ever.  Barney was also responsible for her developing a (ahem) certain personal control, after themed undergarments were purchased.

Barney’s da man.  B.J. and Baby Bop – merely his pale, paleo-pitiful pals

2.  When she was three years old, she counted to “twenty-eleven (31).”

And now…..The #1 Rachel Factoid….

1.  This blog is a guaranteed embarassment.