This Reminds Me

For a7th grade home ec homework grade, I had to prepare and serve a dessert with my mom attesting to my effort.  So I added blue food coloring to a butterscotch pudding mix, topped it with orange-dyed Cool Whip and sprinkled Christmas-themed candy bits along the perimeter of each bowl.  My midwestern mom wrote, “It was creative.  I think.”

Sound gross?

Well, maybe you should have seen the cafeteria workers at our high school, dipping directly into stainless vats of steaming vegetables with transparently-gloved hands and slopping watery servings on our trays with juice dripping off their elbows.

Sound more gross?

Get ready.

Hannah and Julia took a children’s (duh) four-day “Gross Cooking” class at church this week, toting home Rubbermaid tubs of food that was quite creative.  I think.

Monday’s Marvels – Boogers on sticks (green Cheese Whiz on stick pretzels), scabby pus sandwiches (jelly, butter and fruit on bread) and babies’ dirty bottoms (caramels stuck into marshmallows with stick pretzel legs)

Tuesday’s Treats:  Ear wax on a swab (miniature marshallows dipped in orange white chocolate stuck to a straw) and spit out sandwiches (shredded peanut butter sandwich with marshmallows)

Wednesday’s Wonders:  Armpit hairballs (Wheaties and chocolate) plus dead skin cells with worms (butterscotch and white chocolate with gummi worms)

Thursday’s Delight – Penicillin pizza (English muffins with tomato sauce, white cheese and green Parmesan) and used bandages (orange icing-topped graham crackers with marshmallows and fruit roll-up shreds)

Hungry, anyone?