This Reminds Me

Archive for the ‘Celebrate’ Category

As part of her college application process, Lois wrote several essays including this one about an “influential person” in her life.  I wanted to blog it right away, but she made me promise to wait until after her college selection was complete.

It’s complete.  A&M, here she comes.

May 18 is our 6th anniversary of Julia’s homecoming – what we call “Sisters Day.”

Julia’s fearful walk from the “machina” to her new “dom” Mary 18, 2006.  Thanks to Shelley for thinking to take a picture – I sure didn’t have sense enough to suggest it.

Sister’s Day is a great day to blog Lois’ “most influential” essay.  So here goes:

The Most Influential Person in My Life

by Lois Julia Woodworth

She is four feet and four  inches tall, weighs barely fifty pounds, jabbers far too often, and loves me. She has brown hair, olive skin, dark eyes, and a scar from a polio shot on her left arm. She sleeps twenty feet away from me, wakes me in the night when she’s scared, and holds my hand when we cross the street. She joined my family five and a half years ago one May night, and she has drastically altered my life course every second since. She is Julia – my sister – and she is the most influential person in my life.

Julia began stretching her will into my life before she even came home from Russia. In late 2004, my parents asked my sisters and I if we would like to have another sister. After a few side discussions, we decided to expand our family. I began to imagine life with another sister that very night. One of my sisters -  Hannah – would have to share her room with the new addition, and the three of us would share a bathroom, but I was convinced the new sister would be worth it. Julia made me much more open to sharing and considering the needs of others long before she fearfully stepped into her new “dom” (house.)

The wait for Julia’s adoption taught me patience. My family waited more than a year for the name alone of the little girl soon to be a Woodworth.  When her name and picture were revealed to us, I was shocked.  Julia – called by her name of “Guanna” at the time  -was frail and weak. Her hair hung like brittle branches around her hollow face.  Instantly, I felt protective of this child, this orphan whom would soon arrive in my midst. Through the long months of  the adoptive process until my parents went to meet her in St. Petersburg, Julia taught me that patience cannot be overvalued.

When Julia finally did come home in May 2006, my life was truly changed. The first barrier between us was one of language. Guanna spoke only Russian; I knew nowhere near enough Russian to understand her, or respond to her. We worked out a series of hand gestures and pantomime to facilitate communication. It was this process which taught me that love did not need a language to be expressed.

Julia also inspired me to be a better person. My younger sister Hannah and I had never really gotten along; she never looked up to me for anything. When Julia came home, I knew that I needed to be the best person possible for her. I helped her draw, taught her English words and phrases, and stayed with her until she fell asleep at night. I loved her more with every passing day. Julia -  just by existing – taught me that I am the master of my own behavior. She made me want to learn self-control and practice self-awareness.

Julia arrived at my house as a fragile stranger and blossomed into a beautiful preteen girl. During her metamorphosis, I changed as well. Julia taught me the value of patience,  how to be self-aware and how to sing “Frere Jacques” in Russian.  I taught her what to call our family members, where Mom hides the Girl Scout cookies and how to turn on the shower. Julia and I learned a great deal from each other, the most important of all being love.

Hang on, Lois!  A&M is going to be a wild ride.

I’ve wished lots of women “Happy Mother’s Day” – Keith’s mom, my own mother and her sisters, my sister and niece, neighbors, Sunday School teachers, co-workers – it’s a long list.

I’ve missed one, though, these last six years, though I think of her often. She’s young – but ageless. Speaks Russian – but soundless. Important – but formless. And not here – but omnipresent. She’s Julia’s “first mother,” the one who gave her life.

We know very little about her. She couldn’t be found before our May 10, 2006 court date. I wish we had a picture of her at least. Does she have Julia’s sparklingly dark, slightly-slanted eyes? Is she athletic? Is it she who gave Julia that unusual strands-of-gold-in-brunette hair? We will likely never know.

Our earliest picture of Guanna-to-be-Julia, which we snagged off the Russian data base of orphans.  She was about 18 months old. 

There’s no denying that first mother. I’m Julia’s mom, but I didn’t birth her. I didn’t count her fingers and toes, or coo at her, or stumble around at night heating bottles. I didn’t clap at her first step, or grin at her first word. Julia has my heart, but she doesn’t have my DNA.

We’ve talked about her first mother from time to time. Mostly I bring her up. I don’t want Julia afraid to ask about her, or think that she can’t love us both. I love all four of my daughters; loving two mothers is just as natural. I’ve answered her questions as best I can. I have lots of conjectures, but not many facts.

What I do know is that Julia’s first mother loved her enough to give birth to her. She was young with no one to help her, and likely very frightened. No one threw her a baby shower. No friends at church thought to loan her maternity clothes, or a car seat. No one sent flowers to the hospital, or brought over dinner, or offered to babysit so she could run to the store. No one congratulated her for giving birth to such a beautiful, beautiful baby.

So today I want to thank her for giving birth to such a beautiful, beautiful baby.

Happy Mother’s Day, First Mom.  Our girl is doing just fine.

In celebration of Pi Day – a cake!   The girls and I trooped off to Houston Sunday – Tuesday of this spring break week and were treated to a cake in our honor, selected by the kiddos of my brilliant niece Sarah  -  Laura and James.  Not sure when my name last topped a cake, but I’ll bet my mom baked it.

Red velvet, too – yum!

Sarah always makes us very welcome, which is fortunate – since we’re coming to her house regardless.  With all our bags.  And pillow pets.  And 12-packs of Diet Coke.  Which everyone will have to step around in the entry way, so sorry, really, Clark, we’ll be taking it with us when we leave here next month.

Couch Fulla Cousins:  James, 5; Rachel, 20; Julia, 12; Lois, 18; Hannah, 16; Laura, 8.  Strange to think this may be our last spring break with a full house, since Lois leaves for A&M in the fall.

We spent Monday the Houston Livestock Show.  I don’t like animals, but I love the fair atmosphere.  Plus we got a free koozie for checking in on Facebook, and I’m all about the $Free.99.

Julia’s first candy apple, inspired by cousins Laura and James.  Sarah and I swore we were going to devour fried Milky Way bars, but when we got to the concession stand, we were just too hot and tired to think about them.  Neither of us had sense enough to wear shorts instead of jeans.  We slurped multiple bottles of cool water instead of licking gooey caramel deliciousness from our fingers.  Next year, Sarah – next year.

Don’t let these babies get your goat, girls.

Cabrito on the hoof!  Hannah was smiling a lot more Monday than she has been today.  She had six (count ‘em – six!) wisdom teeth removed this morning, plus an oral cyst.  Glad we went to Houston earlier because we’ll sure be staying close to home the remainder of spring break.

Julia spent about 10 minutes in front of the bee exhibit, trying to locate the queen.  I joked, “She looks a lot like me!”  But alas – my humor was lost on her.  Sigh.

So Happy Pi Day – and Spring Break!  Hope you have a sweet to celebrate – maybe even a fried Milky Way.

One of the tricks of managing a family is to offer “separate but equal” rewards, gifts, acknowledgements, etc.   With four kids in a wide age range – that’s easier said than done.  As I am fond of saying while explaining why we can’t do this or that, “You can’t do for one what you can’t do for four.”  But, of course, you don’t have to provide identically for the four – hopefully, though, you provide comparably.  I stress hopefully because really – who knows about tomorrow?   The best plans can be derailed with a lay-off, car repair, medical bill, etc., as all of us adults know too well.

Rachel, Lois and Hannah each got a special trip for their ninth birthdays.  I took Rachel to American Girl Place in Chicago.  Keith took Lois whale watching in Seattle, and Hannah to San Francisco.

Keith took my very favorite picture e-v-e-r of Hannah on her special trip.  He had a full day planned, but she saw the Pacific ocean and begged to stop.  That’s where they spent most of the day.  This pictures captures “her” – joy and abandon.

But for Julia’s ninth birthday – the trip just didn’t work out.  We had first-year college expenses for Rachel, plus we were saving vacation time and every dime for the family cruise in December.  Julia wasn’t home to hear about the trips of Rachel, Lois and Hannah so I’m not sure her being shorted was bothering her as much as it bothered me.

One day, Keith and I would like to take her back to Russia to visit.  Let her see the beauty of St. Petersburg.  But that is a few years away, sooooo….

To celebrate her recent (12th) birthday, I took Julia to Space Center Houston to have lunch with an astronaut.  Rachel and Hannah couldn’t afford to miss work, school, Girl Scouts, etc. but Lois – grinning wickedly about “senior spring” – tagged along.

Julia’s fifth grade teacher  has their room decorated in “Early NASA.”   They’ve held several video conferences with NASA’s educational staff, and next week – they’re studying the moon.  Great timing for this trip, no?

When we lived in Houston, we visited often.  Lois (center) was only five years old in 1998 when “Space Family Woodworth” shot their Christmas card photo on site.

The three-story playground – a huge hit.   I, however, preferred the stairs to return to the ground level.

The older girls tease Julia about having a “six pack of abs,” but those weren’t much help lifting a planetary-adjusted weight.

While Julia spun around 360 degrees in this capsule….

…Lois and I could watch her on this exterior screen.  Omigosh!  Good that we did this before lunch.

Before enjoying lunch with astronaut Ken Cameron, we heard him speak for 30 minutes in the Blast Off Theater.  He spent a year training in Russia with cosmonauts.  My favorite Russian had a million questions for him – until he sat down at our table.  Then it was all “nodding of the head” and “chewing of the chicken strips.”

One small girl; one giant Saturn V rocket – part of the tram tour.  You may be asking, “Where are all the other people?”  Answer:  We went on a rainy Friday.  We had the place virtually to ourselves.  We never waited in line,  or had to elbow someone at a display.  It was awesome.  The perfect time to go!

The Saturn V building made great use of QR codes.  Lois and I got a huge kick out of scanning the codes for more info like…..

….a photo of and links to more info on the third stage.  Don’t have the AT&T scanner?  Well, heck - get it now!

The magic of a green screen!

We ended the day (5 p.m.) where we began (10 a.m.) – in the play area.  Julia absolutely loved building motorized “lunar rovers.”   This is my favorite picture of the day because it captures her fascination and concentration.

Next year, Julia will be a teenager and we’ll start those delightful adolescent experiences.

But for this year – I’m glad to still have a child to enjoy an out-of-this-world birthday.